There are plenty of people that live out of a backpack and like to move every couple of months. There are tons of people that want to go to other countries, climb mountains, swim in dirty water, and sleep in the dirty with a pillow made of leaves. I don’t.
Scenic adventures to natural landscapes are the things my nightmares are made of. Where some people see “breathtaking” I see “no more breath in my lungs” because I’m dead. “Unspoiled” and “natural” make me think of insect borne illnesses and food poisoning instead of excitement and adventure.
I’m a person that roots quickly deeply to wherever I am for an extended period of time. I don’t like change, I don’t like travel, I don’t actually like people that much despite the paths I have chosen in my life, and I’d rather keep doing something that makes me miserable because it’s familiar instead of risking disappointment or injury.
I’m a creature of habit and like routines. Any changes I make, I like to make slowly over time. I like knowing where the stores and hospitals are. I like being able to go places without using a GPS. I like doing something with a pretty certain idea of what the outcome will be.
I like to be in control because that is the only time I feel safe. Part of that is controlling the environment around me. I don’t even know where it comes from. I did get sick on a trip to China once but I felt this way before that. As a child I didn’t like going places that weren’t my house. School included.
The only place I don’t feel like this is education. I believe in taking risks to produce better educational outcomes for our students. I believe in trying to find new ways for things to work . I believe that just because something is functional doesn't mean it’s the best way. I’m willing to push for change where other people are afraid because I understand the fear.
There is no guarantee despite all the research and promises that things will be better. I understand that there are risks to making changes for our kids and teachers. I understand that it may not be good for the adults but they aren’t the ones who have to go to school to create the foundation for the rest of their lives. They don’t have the same choices that adults do.
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