I've spent years now teaching kids how to create a thesis, organize their thoughts, research, collect evidence, and write essays in a way that succinctly and effectively conveys their thoughts to a reader. Why is it so hard, not even a month after grading almost a hundred essays, to write one of my own? I find myself closing my eyes, imagining a student in front of me, telling them to do stuff, then doing it myself.
I'm embarrassed when I hear the things coming out of my own mouth during our lessons:
"Wait, how do I do that?"
"What does a good thesis look like?"
"Don't rush me!"
"I did everything you said, so why won't you that it's perfect!?"
I get that it's a process and that we're all still learning. I know that this is making me better, more informed, etc. That doesn't mean that I'm not looking out the window plotting my escape. It's summer. I want to play. I'm tired. I'm full of complaints.
All things considered, I'm very happy to be here. I'm happy to be struggling. I'm still grumpy.
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