This year I have felt more like a teacher. It has felt more natural. This is a good thing, at the same time I felt myself losing some of that young, new teacher enthusiasm I started with. Something that really helped me as a teacher. So as I changed this year, and really this semester I am thinking more what kind of teacher do I want to be? When I think back to my teachers you have the teacher that sticks to fundamentals and teachings deep understanding of content, but just content. I had the teacher that applied all learning to the real world and pushed me to understand the why in what I was learning. I had the teacher that challenged me to question everything I was learning and not just take something as is. Then you have the teachers that build relationships with students, the ones that bend the rules, the ones the run a tight classroom, the ones that provide copies, and the ones that don’t. There are so many different ways to be successful. I think I thought I would have it figured out. I kind of thought I had I figured out last year and this year is making me question it a lot more.
More than just how I teach, I think I am questioning what do I want to be known for as a teacher. Not just the strict teacher, the easy teachers, or the fun teacher, but when students describe what they learned about themselves in my class, what do I want them to say? What values do I want to lead my teaching and inherently instill in my students. I think this is a question I have thought about since I started but it wasn’t until this year I have really started to think about what exactly is it that is important to me and how can I live that out in my classroom. In year one and two so much is adapting other people’s ideas to survive. Part of my struggle this year is wanting to find the values that drive me and how to incorporate them in my lessons. As I lost some of that new teacher energy, I am working on finding what it is that keeps me passionate. I feel connected to this work, but I know I still have not reached where I want to be as a teacher and as result feel a little disheartened by that. So I find myself constantly returning to this question of what type of teacher do I want to be?
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